Bumper Sticker: Music
by Midnightflavoblaze
Summary: First of the Bumper Sticker Series. In the infirmary, John and Jennifer have a musical dispute with hilarious results. One-Shot.


AN: This is my first in my Bumper Sticker series. All of my stories in the series are inspired by fun stickers I have on my facebook profile.

**AN HELP:** I am trying to find a set of stories from Stargate Atlantis, but cannot find them after hours of searching. They are Rodney-centric with him developing a relationship with an OC over the stories. Summary of the set: They meet at her Starbucks coffee place where she works, they date slowly. She is an animator, and sends him chocolate and coffee when he gets back to Atlantis. They break up and Zalenka then "requisitions" her on Rodney's behalf. If you know the author of this series or the full title of them, please PM or leave a review/note with the information. Thanks!

AN2: I reference a brief Miley Cyrus duet with the Jonas Brothers at the beginning and then focus solely on them and HSM. Also Doctor Keller is about 23 here, and this is any season.

Disclaimer: I do not own SG: Atlantis, Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, AC/DC, or Johnny Cash.

* * *

In the dead of night there were strange noises coming from part of Atlantis. A duality of pop and pain. From the howling heard from in the infirmary, one would think that a wild dog was dying in there—or that Rodney had cut his finger again. And that the fast beats and high-pitched girly boy screeching was being listened to by a tween super fan.

However, neither of these are true—as confirmed partly by the sight of one John Sheppard clutching his ears and emitting the dyingesque wail on gurney one, near the window in the infirmary.

After finally hearing his cry over the sugary-sweet poppy music when it changed tracks from the duet with Miley Cyrus, Dr. Keller turned down the desktop speakers and came out of the CMO office to check on her only patient.

"Is there anything wrong, Colonel Sheppard? Does anything hurt?" She queried, approaching his bed.

"Anything wrong? Yes! That horrid shrieking you're blasting. My ears are the only things that hurt—I can't believe you listen to that junk." Sheppard exclaimed after taking his hands down from his ears in relief.

"I did not realize it was that loud, Colonel. I will turn it down. And The Jonas Brothers are not junk—they are great singers, cute men, and show that family and values are still important to youth in our society!" Keller huffed.

"Ah uh." John rolled his eyes, "I thought I was supposed to be in here to heal as per your strict dictatorship demands, not be tortured by young girls parading as boys badly playing valuable instruments. Aren't they jailbait for you?"

"Hey! They are boys, and while Nick and Joe are underage, Kevin is almost my age! And their good!" She now glared at the injured soldier, "Not like your music about sex, drugs, and bullshit! That _junk_ made generations of youth with great potential to help the world lose brain cells on pot and spread diseases!"

"Whoa there doc. I haven't heard you curse before." Sheppard is shocked for a moment, but quickly recovers, "My music rocks. It's classic and will last longer than that teen queen sweet garbage. In five years no one will remember the Jonas Brothers, but in twenty, people will still rock out to AC/DC and Johnny Cash."

Done with the antagonizing conversation, Keller walked over to Sheppard's I.V. drip. Crisply, she states, "You need to sleep off your injuries and you being this awake, might lead to you further injuring yourself. I am increasing your sedative and morphine, so you can heal."

"Wha…wait!" was all that Colonel Sheppard was able to get out before the medicine started to take effect.

"Goodnight, Colonel Sheppard. I will keep the music down" Doctor Keller said quietly as she left for her office.

As Sheppard drifted off to unconsciousness, something even more horrible than Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers combined evaded his ears and mind. Doctor Keller had changed the music to the first High School Musical soundtrack.

_Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I…will…get…revengeee…_

* * *

For one of the only times the afternoon shift was quiet and the infirmary empty, Dr. Keller relaxed in her office. Soon, however, this calm was interrupted by her Chief Nurse, Maria. "This is the new patient's file, Dr. Keller," Maria said, handing the file to the young CMO."He is in bed one, near the window." Dr. Keller left Maria in the office, and unintentionally, complete access to the infirmary's sound system.

"Thank you, Maria." Keller said over her shoulder as she left the office. She took the file and turned to approach the newly occupied gurney. She looked down and started to open the file when she arrived at the bed side. "OK, Mr. Musicccc…..? What?" Keller looked up to see no patient, and looking around, could find no new ones for her to check. She sensed a trick might be being played on her. _Stupid marines…it's probably Lorne, Laura hasn't gotten back yet. This is a pretty lame joke. _She then decided to read the chart of this 'missing' A.K.A. not real patient.

Patient's name:

**Quality Music**

Status:

**Deceased**

Cause of Death:

**Miley Cyrus**

**The Jonas Brothers**

**High School Musical**

Suddenly, as she read the last line, AC/DC's "Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution" blasted from the speakers of the Infirmary—nearly blowing the little wisp of a Doctor over.

"John!" was screamed from her lips. But this was overpowered by the first awesome guitar solo—which was simultaneously being air-played by Maria on one of the gurneys.

* * *

And somewhere in the central tower, the sound of male laughter could be heard after hearing and feeling the vibrations from the beautiful music in the infirmary.

"You know that she has the big needles, right?" Lorne questioned his superior officer mid-laugh.

"What?… Shit!"


End file.
